Words are powerful and the way we talk to ourselves, or our self, can be the difference between high and low self-esteem and confidence. 


Words cast spells, that is why they are called spellings. The way you speak to yourself will affect how you feel and the way you are feeling will affect how you behave. 


It took me years to really be able to listen to that voice – the one that was being unkind to me. A voice that was a part of me. It would tell me that I was ugly, useless, or stupid and unworthy, but I wasn’t fully aware of it. 


What I would notice was the feeling. I would be going to a party or to school, or college then on to a job interview or a presentation for work feeling low in confidence. When II felt that way I would shrink away from other people’s company and that interview or presentation would go horribly wrong.


One evening, on my way to present to a group, I was throwing on some makeup as I hurriedly prepared and that’s when I heard it. That voice, like a dirty parrot squawking at  me, “You’re ugly, you’re ugly!” 


And something change within me – in that moment though, I didn’t feel awful I felt elated. 

I had woken up to that voice. 

I had actually heard it!

AND I brushed that parrot right off my shoulder. 

It just wasn’t helpful and just wasn’t the kind of story (also referred to as a limiting belief) that I wanted to hear anymore.


So, how do we build self-esteem and confidence? 

  • We tell ourselves helpful and empowering stories. 
  • We set smart, ambitious objectives and steer our compass 
  • AND take bold strides toward the direction of our dreams. 


Six useful steps


First – think about your values, and what is important to you like creativity, integrity, honesty, trust, and loyalty. List as many as you can and then cut your list down to your top 5


Second – write down all the things that you love, like and admire about yourself. Keep a piece of paper with you and keep adding to the list over a period of one week


Third – plan your 24/7 to include all those things in your life that are important to you, at the same time remember to maintain balance


Fourth – write a mantra that really connects with what is important to you and your goals


Fifth – repeat, repeat, repeat that mantra so you can embody those new stories


Sixth – imagine and pretend to see yourself being that person, morning, noon, and night


Our mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined. Therefore, by repeating the mantra that represents the new story of who you are and how you want to be in life, AND visualising yourself being that way, before you know it you are simply showing up as that person. 


Everyone will notice the difference in you.