Gaining insights and perspective can create breakthroughs for separating couples preparing to work together in mediation.
NLP, or neuro-linguistic programming, is a form of therapy that focuses on how language and communication patterns can shape our thoughts and behaviours.
Perceptual positions
One key concept in NLP is the idea of perceptual positions, which refers to the different ways in which we can view a situation or problem.
Shifting perspectives
By shifting our perspective and considering the situation from different viewpoints, we can gain a deeper understanding of the issues at hand and find more effective ways to communicate and resolve conflicts.
When it comes to separation and divorce, it can be difficult for couples to see things from each other’s point of view. Emotions can run high, and it can be easy to get stuck in our own perspectives and become entrenched in our positions. This can make it difficult to find common ground and come to an agreement, especially when it comes to important issues like the child arrangements and property division.
Using NLP perceptual positions can help separating couples gain a more nuanced understanding of each other’s perspectives and needs. By considering the situation from the perspective of their partner, they can better understand where their partner is coming from and what they are trying to achieve. This can help to create a more collaborative and empathetic approach to mediation, which can be crucial in finding mutually-beneficial solutions.
The three main perceptual positions
There are three main perceptual positions that can be helpful for separating couples to consider:
The first-person perspective
This is the perspective we are most familiar with and the one we typically use when communicating with others. It is the perspective of our own thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
The second-person perspective
This is the perspective of the other person or people in the situation. By considering the situation from the perspective of our partner, we can gain insight into their thoughts, feelings, and motivations.
The third-person perspective
This is the perspective of an outside observer, ‘fly on the wall’, looking at the situation objectively and without any personal stake in the outcome. By considering the situation from this perspective, we can gain a more detached and neutral understanding of the situation, which can be helpful in finding solutions that work for both parties.
Finding mutually-beneficial solutions
Using NLP perceptual positions can be especially useful in mediation, where the goal is to find mutually-beneficial solutions.
By considering the situation from different viewpoints, separating couples can gain a better understanding of each other’s needs and find more effective ways to communicate and resolve conflicts.
This can help create a more collaborative and empathetic approach to mediation, and ultimately lead to better outcomes for all parties involved.
Jessica Vassallo is an award-winning Transformation Change Coach, Master NLP Practitioner
Member of the Compass Resolution Family Mediation Team of Experts
Book a Discovery Call and find out if I am the right coach for you. Call 07957 556856 or email jess@jessicavassallo.com
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